Sep 22, 2025
Overachievers fear inadequacy, chase worth through productivity, achievement, and never letting up. For me it means overextending, doing too much and tying personal value to work.
I’m still unraveling where this started. Maybe childhood? I was the 4th of 6 kids, the eldest daughter, carrying expectations and responsibilities early. Both my parents were academically accomplished, and those standards pressed in. Or maybe it came later—after a failure that left me humiliated, where I learned to avoid that sting by working harder, longer, better. Whatever the origin, the cycle has taken its toll.
How it shows up…
🧩 “I can do it myself.”
I rarely ask for help. There’s a fear of looking inadequate or being a burden, so I just make it work. Independence, sure—but it comes at the cost of balance and well-being.
💎 “You need to be twice as good.”
Most Black folks know this phrase. It shaped me. In corporate spaces, Black workers aren’t afforded mediocrity—only excellence earns a seat. And even then, people assume you’re there by quota, not merit. That pressure forces you to push harder, even when you’re already depleted.
😩 “Am I even doing this right?”
I crave reassurance. If I don’t hear I’m doing well, I read silence as disapproval and push harder. The thoroughness people notice (audits, organization, documentation, etc.) isn’t just diligence; it’s perfectionism born from fear of not being good enough.
How the cycle plays out...
Achieve something and get a small rush of relief.
Raise the bar, forgoing sleep, food, fun and neglecting relationships.
Fatigue sets in followed by burnout.
Numb feelings & repeat.
How I am healing…
Reminding myself: I am more than my work. That my identity exists outside of my career.
Choosing joy where I can… little things that bring me back to myself.
And of course "go talk to the lady" (aka seek therapy) Having someone to help me trace where this comes from and figure out new, healthier ways forward.
But I also think about what happens outside of me... how much of this cycle is reinforced by workplaces that reward overextension until we collapse. It makes me wonder, what if…
…Managers noticed the signs and helped break the loop instead of feeding it?
…“High priority” was rare, timelines were realistic and workloads didn’t always demand sacrifice?
…Leaders stopped sending late-night messages that make the whole team feel like they have to be on 24/7?
…After big pushes, rest was built in without guilt/fear of falling behind?
…Feedback came with empathy, clear expectations and not public correction that leaves you exposed?
…Good work was celebrated LOUDLY so folks weren’t left second-guessing where they stand?
Cycles of overachievement look shiny in the short term but they burn teams out. Burnout doesn’t just cost the individual. It drains the team, the culture, the organization. Healing isn’t only personal. It’s collective. Sometimes the grace we most need is the grace we extend to each other.
